Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
