Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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