Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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