she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
