You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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