Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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