youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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