Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
