is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They have beer where we have blood.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
