She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
