shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
