Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
