Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
