Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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