I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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