isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
