yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
