remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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