Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
