I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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