I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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