Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
