Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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