I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
