I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
