Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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