I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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