We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
