You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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