Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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