Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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