not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
