i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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