Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
