Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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