I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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