we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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