I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize