I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
