Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it glows. i had to have it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
