I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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