I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
