umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
3pm strippers are depressing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
