lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When are your genitals available?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
