you guys were way drunker than both of me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
