real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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