STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
