she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
