all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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