I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
