she was so not down for the gang bang
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
