i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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