wrigley field is MILF paradise
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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