no. you can't hotbox the world.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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