go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
