I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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