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• (914): View more from New York

  last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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• (509): View more from Washington

  He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day

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• (607): View more from New York

  I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior. 

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• (925): View more from California

  Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"

  (425): View more from Washington

  She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.

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