Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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