Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
only you would photoshop your dick
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize