So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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