I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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