K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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