I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize