I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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