Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
