No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize