whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
