who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
