Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
