Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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