honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
